Microwaves
The following is an email I sent this afternoon to various administrators at my school:
Good afternoon,
Today I brought a delicious homemade vegetable lasagna from home to consume for lunch. It was made with zucchini in place of any pasta, making it a low-carb, healthy snack. It would be the highlight of my week. Unbeknownst to me tragedy would strike on this day. Upon bringing my promised delicious lunch up to the 2nd level of the SLC and placing it in the microwave beside the wonderful new water fountain, my heart sank. It appeared that the microwave was not heating up my lunch. I scrambled and attempted to use the other microwave in haste. But to no avail I was defeated, yet again. It appears that neither microwave emits any microwaves and it is tragedy that I was led to believe that they would. Please, I implore you, fix this issue so that this tragedy may not occur to another handsome fellow on another expected “best day of the week”
Yours truly,
Kevin
Shortly after sending, I got this response:
Hi Kevin,
As another Kevin, I can certainly understand being handsome and disappointed at the same time. While your zucchini salad sounded like a delightful Friday flavour explosion, I can say with confidence that I do not feel the same way about “the poor man’s cucumber”. That being said, I’m not entirely sure that my office, that being the Marketing Office of the Federation of Students, has anything to do with ensuring that the SLC’s microwaves are capable of heating (with micro waves, as you know) anyone’s delicious homemade lunches. I would recommend, sir, that you get in touch with Scott Pearson or Ann Simpson at the Turnkey Desk. I, however, revoke my suggestion to talk to Scott or Anne because I, as resourceful as I am, did that for you… just now… and they have assured me that the microwave is in full working order, a direct result of a flipped breaker. So enjoy that lasagna on this, the best day of your week.
Thank you for your email, it was as verbose as it was entertaining.
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